SURVIVING THE FESTIVE SEASON, PART 3.

Dealing with grief and loneliness during the festive season.

Welcome to part 3 and the finale of our “Surviving the Festive Season” series!

Part 1 was all about how we can deal with the changes in our routine and part 2 focused on how we can navigate spending more time with family during this time.

Today, I’d like to shift gears a little to talk about the experiences of grief and loneliness that can be really prominent for many during the festive season.

As joyful as big gatherings and celebrations may be, they often provide some really stark reminders about who’s not sitting at the table with us. Similar to mother’s day or father’s day, again, as joyful as these days can be, for many, these days only highlight the absence of a mother or father.

So although the dominant conversation around this time of year circles around gathering, connection, joy etc, it’s important to highlight that many of us can be experiencing a lot of grief and loneliness alongside everything that’s happening. And furthermore, this emphasis on family and connection can actually exacerbate feelings of loss.

What are some ways in which we can deal with grief and loneliness during the festive season? Here are some ideas and tips that you might find helpful!

1. It’s okay to feel grief and loneliness.

First and foremost, it’s important to remind yourself that it’s okay to feel grief, loneliness and any other emotions that you may be feeling.

It doesn’t matter what time of the year it is, or what you’re “supposed” to be feeling during this time, your experience is valid and you’re allowed to feel what you feel.

Giving ourselves permission to grieve, mourn or feel sad, can sometimes be all that we need to feel somewhat okay. Often the act of resisting these feelings, can sometimes cause unnecessary tension and stress.

So gently remind yourself that it’s completely okay to feel grief and loneliness even if everything around you is telling you to be joyful and celebratory, and notice what changes or shifts for you.

2. You don’t have to put on a brave face.

We spend a lot of energy prioritising the needs of others and no doubt, this is a really honourable and culturally respectful way of being. However, putting on a brave face when you’re actually feeling awful can be extremely exhausting and, can sometimes make you feel more isolated and alone in your sadness.

Taking off your “brave face” doesn’t mean that you suddenly become highly emotional or disrupt the overall mood of a family gathering, instead, it could simply mean that you take moments of time out for yourself, or you tell a few people around you that you’re not feeling your best.

Some reflective questions to ask yourself:

• What is one way in which I can prioritise the way that I feel today?
• Who do I feel comfortable sharing my experiences with today?

3. Notice what this pain is showing you.

Sometimes emotions are just passing and need to be felt for them to move on. But other times, the way that we feel is simply reminding us of what it is that we want or need.

It can be quite confronting sitting with our feelings and noticing what we need, however gently asking ourselves questions like these below can help us to feel empowered and a little more in control of our experiences.

Reflective questions:

• What is my loneliness/grief/sadness/anger, saying to me?
• What is it urging me to take action on?
• What is one small change I can make to show myself that I’m taking steps to care for myself?

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This brings us to the end of our three-part Surviving the Festive Season series. Be sure to revisit Part 1 and Part 2 before you sign off for the year too!

Thank you for being here with us during yet another wild and turbulent year, we love supporting you and playing a small role in improving the mental health of Asian Australians.

Wishing you a beautiful, safe and restful festive season and transition into the new year! We look forward to reconnecting with you on the other side.